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Fairies Are Assholes - My Encounter

Updated: Jan 3

Let me start by saying that I'm not an expert on fairies. I don't care to be, and I don't give two shits about them to be honest, but I wanted to share my encounter with them because I haven't yet found anyone talk about what little assholes some of them can be. It seems that most encounters with fairies that I've come across have been much more pleasant than mine. If "mythical" creatures and entities aren't part of your world, just skip this. I'm not going to try to educate someone that wants to debate facts and my personal experience and I'm going to make this as succinct as possible because most people have a short attention span and I'm getting hungry.

Long story short, there has been chaotic energy in our house for quite some time. This made it hard to get anything done. Objects would go missing. They would literally disappear never to be found again. I'm not messy and I very rarely misplace things so this was a big clue. After a list of random household items continued to disappear or be "moved", the last straw that made me snap was a stick went missing. My dog loves to carry sticks home. She had grabbed a nice 2 ft long stick and we left it at the front door after coming home from our morning walk. Not even 30 minutes later, I open the door and it's fucking gone. I don't need anyone to chime in saying that a neighbor could have taken it or some other bullshit "logical" explanation. The fucking fairies that had setup residence in our son's room were responsible. My wife even saw one of them "laughing". So we pinpointed their "nest" during a shamanic journey. It was in a group of potted plants in his room. Once we fixated on their shitty, chaotic energy, it was far easier to sense and "see" them from time to time flying through the house.

In addition to setting up camp, fucking up our peaceful energy flow and making things disappear, they were also responsible for my step-son developing an eating disorder. This can happen when a human eats fairy food and no longer wants regular human food. And this is where any of you bleeding hearts should stop reading because this is where I lost my shit.

I journeyed one night and I had my shamanic crew on the other side on standby on the outer periphery of their "nest". I then met with two of the larger ones. I told them point blankly that they weren't welcome here and they have two options: to leave forever, never to return, or that they could stay and I would decimate their clan that had taken up residence in our home. They "vibrated" and started to deliberate amongst themselves taking far too long to make a simple decision. Any intelligent creature, when faced with the choice of dying or living, normally would choose to live. These fuckers I was dealing with were amazingly stupid. They had apparently never been confronted by someone who could: A. see them and B. stand up to their childish antics, so they were in complete shock and didn't know what to do. Knowing that they can be conniving and untrustworthy little shits, I didn't give them any more time to formulate a scheme as a reasonable amount of time had already passed since my ultimatum. I told the large fairies that time was up. They looked at me motionless and with an energy of arrogance, disbelief that I would follow through and with "what the fuck are you going to do human".

Without hesitation, I gave my crew the cue to capture the vast majority of the fairies in an energetic net. The net was thrown over the potted plants and captured about 90% of them. My crew looked at me for further instructions and I signaled them extinguish them all. We shamanically electrocuted them until they were dead. The energy shifted immediately. It was calm and peaceful for a change.

"Wow, wasn't that a hasty decision?"

Nope. Think of this like finding and destroying a wasp's nest. You don't sit there and shed tears over what you're about to do to those vicious little fuckers. Dawdle and they'll come at you and make you regret hesitating. You just do what needs to be done. "Wait, can fairies actually die?"


A few of them tried to get away, but we took care of the escapees one-by-one. For the next couple hours, we would see stragglers fly back to the house and they would get zapped and die (like mosquitoes flying towards a bug zapper) because I also temporarily shamanically electrified the entire fucking house.

The next morning, our son brought down all the plants from his room and said he didn't want to take care of them anymore. We hadn't mentioned a thing to him about fairies or what had taken place while he was sleeping, but he sure as shit had felt the energy shift in those plants and dead fairy energy didn't resonate with him. Problem solved right? Of course not.

A couple weeks later, we noticed that things started to go missing again and we caught glimpses of a couple more fairies. More proof that they're dumber than a box of rocks because they came back. There are some things that are not negotiable and these little bitches coming back was one of them. We went into our son's room to try to find a portal as it was the only explanation of why they found their way back into the house. And we found it.

He had a full-length mirror standing in the corner and around the entire perimeter of the mirror were - mushroom stickers. Yeah. Ever heard of a fairy circle? They're found in the woods. A circle of mushrooms serving as a portal between worlds. So we took the mirror outside, smashed it with a brick and felt a shockwave resonate throughout our world and theirs.

Problem solved right? Of course fucking not. This is my life we're talking about.

I journeyed to confront them again and was honestly prepared to go down in history as "that one shaman responsible for decimating an entire fucking race of fairies...."

I'm not kidding. I was that pissed off. You don't come into my house and setup camp, influence my kid with your shit food causing months of strife for our family, leave a cloud of chaotic energy in our house and fuck with us even more by making our stuff disappear. I drew the line and those little fuckers crossed it. I had no sympathy or compassion for them whatsoever. I confronted a couple of the large ones again and told them I wasn't fucking around and had given them a very clear message the first time and so I would make myself even clearer. I jumped back to the previous time frame of that first night I decimated them and saw the dead fairies littered about. I gathered their dead "bodies" and brought them forward to the current time frame and sprinkled them all over the perimeter of our home. I told them that if any of their kind comes within my awareness, I would kill them and their next of kin again with no remorse. I told them that the dead fairies scattered around our space should serve as a gentle reminder to them since they seemed incapable of understanding what I would do again. They begrudgingly drifted away from me, but all the while giving me the equivalent of an energetic stink eye - butt-hurt and pissed off and spiteful. I energetically and symbolically waved goodbye to them with my middle finger and waited until they were out of my sphere of awareness.

Problem solved, right? You would think, right?

I flopped down onto the bed that night having been exhausted from some other heavy shamanic work earlier. I was drifting off to sleep when I had the annoying urge to drain my bladder. As I sat up, the pain of what felt like about 100 needles lodged in my abdomen doubled me over. The pain was a solid 10 on a 10 scale. What the fuck was that? I knew it was a psychic attack, but this was one of the most intense ones I had ever felt. I scanned to see if I could trace the energetic signature in my half-asleep state. Luckily, my wife is also a shaman and she instantly saw what was in my stomach and knew who had done it. Those little motherfuckers. My wife convinced me to leave them alone as removed the barbs they had surreptitiously embedded in my energy field while I had been drifting off to sleep. The pain went away instantly, but it took everything I had to keep from committing genocide on those little bastards that night. I should have received a goddamned medal for having enough willpower to let this one slide.

Since then, we have not had any more issues with them. We still keep dead fairy "bodies" around the perimeter of the house to remind them if they come close. I hope that this sheds more light on fairies. I know some people have had great interactions with them. Good for them. We didn't and I don't care to ever interact with them ever again.

So what did we learn from this? They're not too bright. They don't seem to give up that easily and I feel that the only reason they gave in to me is that I stood up to those little cunts. They're used to having their way without any authority to stop them. If you're unfortunate enough to have nasty fairies fucking with you, I don't suggest taking them on alone unless you feel confident in your shamanic abilities.


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